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A Moment with Makena Cahill

August 30, 2010

I’ve been a busy bee folks. Obviously, I’ve been neglectful, but I’m going to stop making excuses and, instead, make up for my lack of posts.

I went searching for information and inspiration this afternoon. I didn’t realize my chat application was opened and, wham, there went an hour. I’d like to think it’s not for naught though. My mollusk loving, internet-sweepstakes-entering friend and former colleague, Makena Cahill, has some things she needed to say:

Makena: Have you seen this video?

Me: I’m obsessed with this video.
Makena: It’s pretty amazing.
Makena: Are you devastated that we didn’t win the Marc Jacobs bags in that Twitter contest?
Me: Totally. I mean honestly, do I love free stuff so much that I would carry around a purse? Made by a man who owns a Birkin in every color?
Makena: Maybe?
Makena: I sure as hell want a Stam bag
Makena: I wouldn’t care if it said, “I won this for free on Twitter” on the side.
Me: That actually would be so ironically chic.
Me: Kind of like that graffiti bag he designed for Louis Vuitton.
Makena: Exactly!
Makena: I should suggest it.
Me: I am not a plastic bag? Please, “I won this luxury shit FREE on twitter, bitch.”
Makena: HAHA
Makena: Are you going to any exciting Fashion’s Night Out stuff?
Makena: I’m perusing the calendar of events.
Makena: I’m excited and a little bit scared that they’re all in my hood.
Me: Yeah, I’ll be around. I’ll probably go to Bergdorfs.
Makena: Yeah I figured you’d go to the big Bergdorf’s thing, naturally.
Makena: My one fashion friend is out of town.
Makena: I’m like, am I going to go to this stuff if I have to wait in line with the plebes?
Me: They’re not just plebes. They’re legit insane, rabid people who live and die for fashion.
Makena: Right.
Makena: Who won’t eat for 6 months so they can have Chanel.
Me: Yeah – and who worship Tavi. Who is 13.
Makena: Wait, what’s a Tavi?
Me: Hang on…
Makena: I’m scared.
Me: I mean, is fashion blogging so fickle a 13 year-old can become an influencer? At least in order to be a copywriter you need to have completed school to the point where you can competently use a semicolon.
Makena: Wait.
Makeana: I need to absorb this more.
Makena: I’m totally uncomfortable with a 13 year old writing the word “kinderwhore.”
Makena: It makes me feel dirty just reading it.
Makena: You shouldn’t know what that means at 13.
Me: I don’t know what that means and I’m 28. Anyway, she sits front row at fashion shows.
Makena: She’s also a terrible dresser.
Makena: She just looks like a homeless person.
ME: Since I have actually laughed out loud in this conversation, I feel the need to put it on the record. Do you mind appearing on the blog?
Makena: Not in the least.
Makena: For the sake of fashion…
Makena: I’m willing to lift the veil
Makena: Like take this for example:
Makena: Kids got beat up for wearing shit like that when I was in middle school.
Me: People who wore that kind of thing were home schooled and thusly not properly socialized. Then, they went to MIT.
Makena: Now they own the companies we work for.
Me: But they don’t have “fun, creative” lives where they get to stand in line to see the Olsens make cosmos at a luxury event.
Makena: I thought the Olsens were judging karaoke that night?
Makena: Because frankly I have a version of “Me and Bobby McGee” that I’m pretty sure Mary Kate would flip for.
Me: I want to do Stephanie Tanner’s “Motown Philly” and see if they become tearfully nostalgic.
Makena: Haha – no because clearly they had their memories from the early 90s Eternal-Sunshine-of-the-Spotless-Mind’ed [translation: erased]
Makena: …to block out all of those bad movies they did with burgeoning  teen heartthrobs.
Me: “To Grandmother’s House We Go” was great, though.
Makena: I liked the one where they went to the bahamas.
Makena: I think it was called “Romance on a Waterslide.”
Makena: semicolon
Makena: ..”how to trick a guy into liking you by pretending you’re the same person as your twin,” or other some such tomfoolery.
Me: Speaking of, remember “My Father the Hero?” How good was Gerard Depardieu on that piano? And although I feel strongly against Katherine Heigl, she did a pretty good job too.
Makena: I can’t say I’m familiar with that work.
Makena: …beyond the fact that I’m amenable to anything starring Gerard Depardieu.
Me: Oh, Makena – this is punishable. How could you, a pop culture consuming, side-pony wearing, Boys 2 Men loving child of the 90s NOT have seen this movie? Ask Barrie.
Makena: She’s also clueless.
Me: You’re KILLING me:
Makena: Heigl looks great in her youth!
Me: They’re staying at an inclusive resort and everyone thinks she’s his lover so they’re all mean to him. The part where he gets up and sings “Thank Heavens for Little Girls” on the piano in the resort’s dining room still gets a hearty chortle from me. However, you must realize you’re taking cinematic advice from someone who, to this day, can quote “Clueless” flawlessly from any part of the movie you choose.
Makena: Which is one of the many reasons I like you.
Me: My mom is so not going to think this post is funny.

Makena: There goes 20% of your readership. Zing!

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Mom permalink
    August 31, 2010 7:15 AM

    I totally love Marcel, and I actually did think your post was funny!

  2. Kendall permalink
    August 31, 2010 3:59 PM

    That shell video made my day, thanks!

  3. Anna Woods permalink
    September 1, 2010 2:41 PM

    Thanks a lot Ward, now I just spent 20 minutes reading Tavi’s blog. Never would have heard of this kid if not for you. I think high fashion has just become throwing some crap together to act like you “designed” it, whether it actually looks good or not, and I say that not just about her outfits but some of the photos from the actual fashion designers she has posted on her blog. However, she is a great writer, just like you, and it’s hard imagining it’s coming from a 13-yr-old.
    Please keep posting, you make me laugh out loud at some point during every post. And I did like the Marcel video, too.

  4. October 25, 2010 12:51 PM

    I can’t even hear a Boys II Men Song without automatically picturing Stephanie Tanner in her gold and black ensemble. I stumbled across your blog today, by the way, and I must say…you had me at Gerard Depardieu.

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